As marriage rates decline nationally, Esther Perel’s “Where Should We Begin?” offers more than dating advice. These episodes are recordings of real couples or single people today who explain why they are struggling to find relationship success. It provides an anthropological study of why coupling is challenging in the 21st century.

Each couple’s struggle with intimacy and commitment reflects broader questions about what it means to build a life together in an age of individualism. “Where Should We Begin?” doesn’t offer easy solutions to the coupling crisis, but it does helps us understand the deeper currents shaping modern love. Especially now that she has branched out to non-romantic friendship topics this year, almost anyone can find an episode here that might help them navigate one of their own personal problems as if they had the world’s leading relationship therapist on hand.

One of Perel’s points is that modern couples are drowning under expectations that previous generations never faced. Partners are expected to be best friends, passionate lovers, co-parents, financial partners, emotional support systems, and personal growth catalysts all at once. Perel points out that they’re asking their relationship to fulfill needs that used to be met by entire communities.

One episode I listened to is “I Can’t Love You the Way You Want Me To” Description: Their relationship is on the edge. They’re grappling with communication issues and the emotional scars from their past. And they’re trapped. Trapped in an endless cycle of blame, defensiveness, and attack.

As someone who grew up on the periphery of Philadelphia, I was interested in their specific fight. The man said that Philly sports fans are trash. The woman defended the honor of Philly with specific examples, and now they hate each other. Honestly sounds like my high school.