Economist Writing Every Day

Many households are now 2-income households. And that can make parenting a slog.

You go to work for 8-10 hours, you may or may not need to provide transportation for children to/from school, and child-care can eat a substantial portion of income. If the children are small, then the parents clean the floors, the dishes, and the clothes. Not to mention any home improvements or repairs. And food! Do you want to eat a home-cooked meal as a family? If both parents work typical hours, then prepare to eat no earlier than 6 PM, and maybe as late as 7:30.

Hey but there’s the weekend, right? NOPE! Someone has to do that big weekly shopping trip. How long is that going to take? The whole ordeal is enough to make someone think twice before having that 2^nd kid. After all, if one kid getting sick throws a wrench in even a single day’s routine, then the whole week can be affected. How many sick kids before things stop getting done? Having a grandparent around to help would be a huge privilege and blessing.

At this point, I think that I can begin to call myself an experienced parent. I’ve got 4 kids who are ages 6 and younger. Plenty of modern conveniences make life easier. Many groceries can be purchased ahead of time for ‘order pick-up’ or online for delivery. Nice. Books are super cheap, and so are bubbles and drawing supplies. If I have to get some work/chores done while the kids are awake, then I can buy myself some time. But, like it or not, when the kids are asleep in the evening is when most chores will get done.

I think that my circumstances are better than most. We pay cash to babysitters, which has nice economies of scale. Formal daycare would be cost prohibitive for multiple children. Regulations ensure a relatively high average cost per child.  Luckily, my wife and I both go to work only 4 days per week, decreasing childcare costs further. In Florida, we also have school choice legislation which lets me send my children to a private school at very little cost to me. The school is close enough that my 6-year old can ride her bike there.  Soon, she’ll be able to go on her own. That’s one less thing on the to-do list! My wife and I both work at a university which emphasizes the importance of family. If a child gets sick and a parent must leave work, then it’s not ruinous to us. And I didn’t mention that work is about 5 minutes from home and 2.5 minutes from the school. A grocery store is 2 minutes away too.  I could walk if I wanted to – but I usually command the golf cart instead. Proximity makes all things easier.

Besides proximity of work and school, we also live in a very tight community. Our co-workers live nearby, send their kids to the same school, and most of them attend the same parish (also nearby). We visit friends for dinner on a weekly basis and host more friends about every other week. My kids have their own friends who live across the street and there are more down the block. The logistical nightmare of routine-violating appointments becomes easier when we can all help each other at home, school, and work.

When I was without children I thought that the phrase “it takes a village” was about appropriate formation and child development. And it is about that. But it’s also about parent sanity, minimizing transaction costs, and diversifying the supply of logistical services. I know that our circumstances aren’t typical. We’re a geographically concentrated set of people who share many of the same values and interests. I live in an actual community. And I mean that in way that’s different from the way that you might hear that word used elsewhere.

Sometimes people will say something like “it’s important to the X community”. They use the word ‘community’. But they are really referring to race, religion, or some other demographic detail that describes people over a geographically dispersed area. For example, the blind community isn’t exactly an area of town.  Living in community takes costs because choosing to live in proximity takes costs. Land is scarce. What would you forgo in order to live with neighbors who are like you on relevant margins? Who share your fundamental values, who you want to be around, and who can help with big and small problems alike? How much of your income is that worth? That’s the village. And most people don’t want to live there.